oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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