That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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