You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
