she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
