Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Randomize
