I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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