Can i not drive my cunt home
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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