How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
