i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Randomize
