Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
