Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i think i just lost a toe
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
