Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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