it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
