I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
