I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
