Porn is love you can see.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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