just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
