Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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