K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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