Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
