that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
