Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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