I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
