16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
