so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
