All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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