That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
