Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
