so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
