First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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