I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize