Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
