so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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