I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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