is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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