We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
