It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Alive.
So much puke
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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