Just fell off a train. Bad.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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