Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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