If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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