eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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