If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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