I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
