I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
