i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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