Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
