Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
