I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
