Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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