Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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