if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
