You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
