Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
