whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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