Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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