my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize