batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
