I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
