I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have already put on my inside pants.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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