lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
