They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
