brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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