at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
