he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
